My family found out that I have a boyfriend. It wasn’t planned. I was just looking for a date or two to get use to the Israeli dating culture. Instead I found an amazing guy and a meaningful relationship. I hid this from my family and certain friends for the last two weeks because I thought there would be an excessive amount of judgment that I couldn’t handle. I was right. The backlash has started.
Last night Sam told my mom we were together. I tried to tell him it would only make things harder for us, but I understood why he wanted to come out into the open with things. He knows I hate lying and that keeping track of who knew the truth was taking its toll on me. My mom seemed to take it fairly well at first. I thought to my self, ok so she is relatively calm about it… maybe I can just let the truth flow and tell everyone the truth.
There is something you need to know about my family and their closest friends… they are the WORST kind of gossips. The only way to keep your private life private is to either shut them out all together or lie. Lying is usually the way I go as, for some ung-dly reason, despite knowing it would be better for me I can’t seem to cut them out all together.
Last night during the conversation Sam had with my mom it seemed as though everything would be ok. So what you may ask was the cause of all the drama today? :::dramatic music plays::: I changed my Facebook status. OMG! Yes I did it. I confess. I changed my Facebook status to say that I was in a Relationship. This is the truth, but my mother freaked out and told me that I was slapping my Ex and his family in the face.
I was reminded that I had stayed with them “for free” (despite paying for groceries several times and paying the rent twice) for 6 months and now I moved out and was divorcing their son. So how dare I slap their hospitality in the face. Never mind that I sat in that house being a good little girl. I never went out on a date, never hit on guys, never behaved with ill-approach for 6 months straight. It was only after I decided to start dating Sam that moved out and got on with my life. So how am I the bad person here? Did he not tell me to go have sex with another man while we were married because he was too lazy to pay attention to me? How is it that I get criticized over this. Just because the divorce is not finalized.
I feel like I am being attacked. I also feel like my family is more concerned with the emotional well being of my Ex than with me. I am their daughter, I am going through a MUTUAL divorce. I feel that I have to emphasize the “mutual” part because they forget that he wants a divorce too. I moved to a new country with a new language, on the other side of the world. You would think they would have a bit more compassion. You would think that they would see that the fact that I found a new guy in my life who cares for me and is helping me find my way here is a great thing. Something to be pleased about.
I have seen more action with regards to establishing my new life in the few weeks Sam has been around than in the whole 6 months that my Ex and his family we’re supposedly “helping” me. This is my life now and whether Sam and I are forever or for right now, this is what is making me happy and this is the choice I have made. I will accept the consequences that come along with it, but those who pass judgments… may you be judged just as harshly.
0 comments:
Post a Comment