Learning Curve Moment

     WARNING:  In Israel… Frozen Yogurt is NOT ice cream.  It is quite literally FROZEN VANILLA YOGURT!!!

     It’s sour and bitter and not all that tasty for someone who doesn’t like yogurt.

YUCK!!!!

xoxo

A

The Sound of Emotions

     There is a specific song from my High School Summertime days that I absolutely loved… still do.  It reminded me of cruising the causeway with my best girlfriend and beach bunny Lady R.  We would have the most amazing time soaking up the sun, picking up boys, and taking tastefully trashy bikini photos.  Sounds like a great song right?  A wonderful reminder of my younger and more carefree days?  I thought so too.

     Unfortunately this song was playing when something tragic and devastating happened to me.  It left me scared for years.  I couldn’t even think of the song without getting chills.  I would have thought, almost ten years later, that it would pass.  I would have thought it would feel like just a bad dream.  But one day a few weeks ago, this song popped up on my internet radio rotation and it hit me. 

     I thought I was going to be sick, literally and physically sick all over my laptop.  It really rocked me to my core.  I didn’t think the memory of that day would continue to haunt me even now.  I tried a few more times to listen to the song, hoping it was just the shock of hearing it after so long.  NOPE! 

     I guess I’m just permanently scared.  It’s too bad.  I really did love that song.  It deeply bothers me that any one person has the power to leave such an indelible mark on who I am and what I’ve become.  Such a shame. 

     Eleanor Roosevelt said “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  It is true… to an extent.  But sometimes circumstances arise that are beyond one person’s control and people can leave a rip in your soul that is almost impossible to repair.  I can say this for First Lady Roosevelt, she got one thing right…

 “A woman is like a tea bag- you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.”

     For everything I’ve been through and all the crazy stuff I’ve seen… I am so much stronger having lived through it and come out on the other side. 

Never let anyone tear you down!

xoxo

A

Major Don’t

     Fashion faux pas at the Coffee Shop Cafe in Rehavia…  Tiffany’s Blue nail polish with matching Cardigan sweater?  Eww…

Major DON”T ladies.  Never match your nails with your clothes! 

Just a tip… the new “in” shade is a dark burgundy.  It slims the hands and creates a classic contrast that fits with almost any outfit.

Just a reminder… mathcy matchy does not make fashion.

xoxo

A

No More Babysitting!

     I decided that I’d had enough of the daycare.  It was very draining of my energy but aside from that… I couldn’t handle getting sick with all of their kiddie germs and getting bitten was the last straw.  I’m looking for a new job, which, admittedly will take a lot of effort considering my lack of Hebrew.  But I’m determined to make it work. 

     I know my family will be pissed that I quit before finding a new job but I just couldn’t do it.  I will try to pinch my pennies and avoid expensive luxuries.  Like today for instance.  I didn’t have proper internet at my apartment so I decided to go camping.  Virtual camping that is… I walked to Aroma in Mamilla and have been sitting for several hours looking for work.  I’ve submitted about a dozen resumes, spent hours reading the employment websites, and updated my resume to reflect any changes.  All for under 50 Shekels.

     It might still seem a bit expensive but considering my much desired Netstick is 350 Shekels plus an additional 130 Shekels a month for the next 3 months… I think it was a more reasonable alternative.  Plus I’m getting the opportunity to download the entire third season of Gossip Girl for my off hours amusement.  What am I going to do when I’m finished?  How will I ever wait for next season?

     On a personal note… I went out on a date for coffee yesterday.  It was a bust.  The guy was nice and all but he was either really shy, or really boring, or both.  Either way there were too many awkward silences to count.  Toward the end of things (about an hour or two, though it felt more like six) I, rudely I admit, went on my computer and played Farmville just to keep myself entertained. 

     I really just wanted him to say ‘ok I’m going back home’ and leave.  But it didn’t happen.  Even though I told him I needed to stay and finish working on my Job search and writing.  He asked me to continue the date with a movie, or going back to his house, or joining me for tea at mine… to each I said no thank you.  No hint was received.  Today he told me what a great time he had yesterday.  Was I on the same date?  We didn’t have a thing to talk about.  I kept trying to provoke a conversation with little tidbits of things he told me or questions about his life, but nothing…

     I guess I should have known.  He looked like the “shy” type.  I don’t do well with those guys.  I need someone who can keep up with my charisma without outshining me.  I know I can be a lot to take in and it can be difficult to keep up with me but i don’t think I’m asking for a lot.  Just a confident (but not too cockey) guy with good hygiene and a little bit of a tough guy façade.  Sure there are other preferences but that is a good starting point.

     I’m beginning to think that G-d is intending for me to be a beautiful, powerful, permanent bachelorette with (hopefully) an amazing career.  That is something I could get behind.  AB, international blogger.  AB, Assistant to the Prime Minister.  AB, Likud Party Leader.  Has a bit of a ring to it doesn’t it! 

     Ok my lovelies… this little birdie needs to go have some chick time.  Until the next story breaks!

xoxo

A

One Is The Loneliest Number

     I have never felt more completely alone than I have over the last two days.  As those who follow me on Twitter and Facebook may or may not be aware… I have been horribly sick for the last week or so.  I was dangerously close to hospitalization over the last two days.

     I have had a sore throat and headaches for about a week now.  On Monday, while at work, spots started appearing on my skin.  I was convinced I had caught Chickenpox.  Now, I’m not so sure.  I stayed home Tuesday from work to get Medical advice about the spots (which appear to be going away, BTW).  I wasn’t feeling all that great Wednesday morning so I stayed home from work again.  Good thing I did.  At about 11am I started to feel nauseous and was unable to move very far.  Throughout the day my fever raged on higher and higher.  I became slightly delirious and my head was racing with thoughts that prevented me from sleeping any of it off. 

     Sometime during the last two days, on one of my many trips to the bathroom my roommate offered me some water.  Aside from that, my human contact was limited.  My Mom really has no way to contact me except through Facebook (of which she did not say one word of worry) and my Ex could care less about my well being anymore.  So despite my pleading for help from friends via my social output, I did not receive a single phone call or visitor. 

    All I wanted was for someone to check on me and/or take me to the hospital.  But since I had 0 minutes on my phone, and no one within an hour drive of me thought I was important enough to worry about, I laid in my bed, sweating out a VERY painful fever.  At about 10pm Wednesday night the fever finally began to break and I was able to fall asleep.  I slept through the entire day today.  I seriously woke up at about 6pm after a few false alarms.  I woke up CRAVING pizza.  And since I hadn’t eaten in 2 days I thought I would treat myself.  One large Pineapple pizza with extra sauce on the side please!

     Life here has been really difficult.  Especially with the looming divorce.  But I never realized how alone I really was until this incident.  I realized I have no truly dear friends (friends like Ms. Ames back home) who would stick with me and help me mend myself.  I have no family here, of that I have been made VERY clear, and I am completely loveless, without even a concerned boyfriend to make my heart feel less empty.  I have nothing and no one.  Which has made this experience, hands down, one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do on my own.

     It is with great sadness in my heart that I go about my day tomorrow.  It is with depression and girlyness that I spend tonight eating pizza and watching Gossip Girl alone in my room.

All for now my dears,

A

With Every Rise Must Come A Fall

     I have had a really bad few days.  Aside from the sore throat I had been fighting, I had a rough day at work yesterday.  The kids were cranky as ever, and one of the kids (that I’m ashamed to say… I REALLY dislike) bit me!  I have a bruise on my arm now.  That kid is so lucky that I have at least some control of my anger.  All I wanted to do was smack the shit out of him and tell his mother what awful children she had raised (he’s a twin).  This kid and his brother are whiney, selfish, spoiled, undisciplined little brats and I really don’t like working with them.  WOW.  SOOO glad I didn’t tell his mom that.  hehe. 

     Also, as if my day weren’t bad enough… I think I caught the chickenpox.  I was working away that morning when one of the girls said… “Amy, what are all those spots on you?”  I looked and sure enough the two or three spots I found a few days ago had turned into dozens.  They were all over my arms, back and tummy.  They didn’t itch but I knew enough to know I was in for a bad week.  Adult chickenpox are very dangerous and miserable.  Needless to say I had a bad day.  Except that they hired a new girl who is really nice and she speaks English.  It was the highlight of my day. 

     The night got worse.  I decided to take the day off of work today to re-coupe and check the spots so last night when some guys I met last week called and invited me out for drinks with them and their friends I thought why not.  I had hoped it would help take my mind off of the spots and impending itchiness.  When they called I was in a cafe on Azza Street having some dinner and getting some writing done.  I was content to stay there but since they called, I raced back home to get cleaned up.  After a quick shower, I did my hair, makeup and got dressed then walked 20 minutes or so to the city center.  When I got there I tried to call the guys to see where we were to meet.  They answered “Who is this?” when I called.  That pissed me off.  I just walked all the way downtown, while sick and covered in spots just for you to blow me off?  In the end I had to spend 20 Shekels for a cab ride home.  What a waste.

      Today had its highs and lows.  Admittedly, mostly lows, but at least I got to sleep in until noon.  After I woke up I watched some tv that I downloaded at the cafe yesterday and decided to go get myself a mobile Net stick.  I pre-planned my bus route as I usually do, only the bus stop wasn’t were it was supposed to be.  So I walked… and walked… and walked.  Then I stopped for directions and found out I had walked in the wrong direction and it was another 20 minute walk.  At that point I just caught a cab.  $5 later I got to orange only to find out that the pre-paid net stick would cost me over $130 up front.  That was cash I didn’t have at the moment.  So I went home (Oh and P.S.  there was another orange store 10 minutes away from my house that I didn’t know about, nice huh?).  Or so I though.  I asked a soldier at the bus stop which bus to get on to go to the central station.  She told me 67 so I got on the 67.  Well apparently I missed the stop and ended up all the way on the other side of town in a VERY religious neighborhood, wearing tight pants and a brightly colored top. (BAD IDEA!) 

     After riding the bus for what seemed like 40 minutes I asked someone for directions.  They told me to take another bus.  so I got off and waited another 20 minutes for the next bus.  I wasn’t really paying attention to what I was doing, so I paid the driver and proceeded to walk toward the back of the bus.  Oops… little did I know until it was too late that it was a split bus.  This means that the men sit up front and the women go to the back.  This is done for modesty reasons.  So I have now offended every Hasidic man on the bus by walking past them in my tight ass jean pants.  I did notice after a second and said I’m sorry the whole way to the woman’s section (because there were other people behind me.) 

     After my major woops and all around bad day I needed a smile, so I put on a song that I thought would cheer me up.  Hanson’s Mmm Bop.  It did the trick.  I giggled like a little girl through the whole song.  It was made more humorous by the religious men and women all around me.  I was so out of place that I laughed at myself.  I ended up riding the bus until the very last stop.  After everyone got off the bus I started to panic.  I went to the driver and asked him where I was.  We had a largely one sided conversation in Hebrew and he offered to drive me to the street I needed to go to.  It was very sweet of him.  He was cute too… I should have asked for his number.  Hmm… Oh well.  It was the second nice thing to happen to me today.  In the midst of all the crap… the nice things should be counted. 

    I decided to spend what little money I had on groceries.  So I stopped at SuperSal on the way home.  I bought stuff to make a lemon salad (nowhere near as good as Jakin’s but I tried) I used zucchini, carrots, and this yummy veggie called Colorabi.  I’ve never seen it in the US but its sorta like a flavor cross between a an apple and a cucumber or something.  In any case, its mucho tasty.  I also bought some instant noodles and hotdog fixin’s.  Ooo, almost forgot good thing number three.  I found a shekel on the ground on the way home.  I’m going to use it for Tzedakah (charity).  It’s my personal mantra.  I use found money for either charity or to do something nice for someone.  Karma. 

     I had the hotdogs for dinner and discussed our current apartment problem with my roomie “E”.  My suspicions from my late night critter scare last week were correct.  We have mice or rats, we’re not 100% sure.  Either way, the traps are set and we’re ready to go a huntin’!  While our un-invited guest is facing his short lived destiny, I will be spending a relaxed evening watching tv online.

Night Ya’ll!

Residential Shabbat

I spent my first Shabbat in Jerusalem as a resident this week. I thought it would be terrible because most of my friends left the city for Shabbat. Some parts were better than others but for the most part. It turned out great.

I worked with Taglit on Friday morning. I finished about 2pm so after I got home and took a shower and a nap (the nap was a necessity), there wasn’t a lot of time to go shopping for Shabbat. That being said, I had no food for Shabbat. That part sucked. I decided to go to the Kotel for the beginning of Shabbat and hoped that someone would invite me for Kiddush. I got dressed in a modest outfit, a white skirt, black quarter-length sweater and flats. I walked 20 minutes to the Kotel and enjoyed a bit of prayer by the wall.

I prayed for two of my family members who were diagnosed with skin cancer in the last week and said Amidah. Afterward I just walked around, smiled and enjoyed the view. I hoped someone would strike up a conversation with me but no. Literally… NO ONE talked to me. So at about 10pm I walked home without an invite and no dinner. It was sad.

I woke up the next morning at 8am (I slept in) and decided to clean the apartment a bit and then go to the park (Gan Saker). I made it to the park at about noon. I worked out for about an hour, then changed into more modest clothes, as I was planning on walking down to the Kotel again. Instead, I got invited to a picnic with a bunch of Americans that was happening right next to my workout spot.

It was a lovely picnic and I met some really nice people. I also got the 411 on all of the local happenings. In the evening I got home, took a shower, and went to bed early. It was a really nice Shabbat. Even if it didn’t go quite as planned. It reminded me of why I started keeping Shabbat in the first place. It was peaceful, just the way it should be.

Next week… I think another picnic Saturday morning would make a great idea.

It’s All Coming Together

     As my Ex would say… “Change your place, change your luck.”  I guess it’s an old Hebrew saying.  Well, it has proven right again.  I am settled into my new apartment in Jerusalem.  I have had a great few nights here with two exceptions… No washing machine, and no internet.  I am planning on buying a mobile Net Stick to rectify this situation.  As for the washing machine… I guess I’ll just have to suffer for now.

     Oh I forgot to mention… I got a job.  I spent the whole day today taking care of kids from newborns to 3 year olds.  It was so much fun and now I am going to get paid for it.  Everyone there is so nice and the kids are great.  They are teaching me Hebrew and I am teaching them English.  Its a good exchange and we speak at about the same level.  LOL

     Tomorrow I am working with the Taglit kids again.  It’s just for the day but I love doing it so I figured why not.  As for the moment… I am just getting dressed then I’m going into town to get a beer and relax in celebration of my new life coming together so beautifully.

     So on an additional note, I should be getting served with divorce papers soon.  The Ex filed them in court through a paralegal last week. 

I just want to say thank you to my loyal readers and friends who have stuck by me and had all the confidence in me that I didn’t have in myself. 

I love you guys.