There is a specific song from my High School Summertime days that I absolutely loved… still do. It reminded me of cruising the causeway with my best girlfriend and beach bunny Lady R. We would have the most amazing time soaking up the sun, picking up boys, and taking tastefully trashy bikini photos. Sounds like a great song right? A wonderful reminder of my younger and more carefree days? I thought so too.
Unfortunately this song was playing when something tragic and devastating happened to me. It left me scared for years. I couldn’t even think of the song without getting chills. I would have thought, almost ten years later, that it would pass. I would have thought it would feel like just a bad dream. But one day a few weeks ago, this song popped up on my internet radio rotation and it hit me.
I thought I was going to be sick, literally and physically sick all over my laptop. It really rocked me to my core. I didn’t think the memory of that day would continue to haunt me even now. I tried a few more times to listen to the song, hoping it was just the shock of hearing it after so long. NOPE!
I guess I’m just permanently scared. It’s too bad. I really did love that song. It deeply bothers me that any one person has the power to leave such an indelible mark on who I am and what I’ve become. Such a shame.
Eleanor Roosevelt said “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” It is true… to an extent. But sometimes circumstances arise that are beyond one person’s control and people can leave a rip in your soul that is almost impossible to repair. I can say this for First Lady Roosevelt, she got one thing right…
“A woman is like a tea bag- you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.”
For everything I’ve been through and all the crazy stuff I’ve seen… I am so much stronger having lived through it and come out on the other side.
Never let anyone tear you down!
xoxo
A
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