Rimes & Reasons Personal & Public Personas

     I always find writing so theraputic. Even if I am writing about nothing at all. I enjoy writing fiction and fact. But I find that when I am completely honest about my life, I hurt people. Why is everyone today so afraid of the truth? It seems to me as though our society today is nothing but lies. Think about it for just a moment. How many times have you lied either to yourself or to someone else today? No matter how tiny the lie seems. How many times this week? Be Honest.

See....

It's a lot. I became very religious a few years back and as a result my concience grew by leaps and bounds. As a result I stopped lying. Completely stopped. As nice as it was to always be honest with people, I also hurt a lot of people.

Sometimes a little white lie stops us from hurting someone. Like not telling a woman she looks fat when she asks, or telling a friend she is smart when she is clearly an airhead. But what good is it doing anyone? Maybe that woman needs to hear she's fat. Maybe it will help her get motivated. Maybe that "airhead" would go back to school or study harder and make more of an effort if SOMEONE would tell her she's not very bright.

I guess that brings me to the title of this post. I know you have noticed that I don't write very much anymore. Mostly that is because if I wrote exactly what I thought and felt, you would be thoroughly amused and entertained, but everyone would hate me.  People don't want to hear the truth.  I wish I could write anonymously.  I wish I could have an audience that reads my words, participates in dialogue, but never really knows who or where I am.

Random Writings, Short Story

Working Title: Destinies Collided

 

He strolled over as though he owned the entire park.  The confidence of a man much older than his years.  His dark handsome features and striking good looks were not lost on her.  She found herself smiling just a little.  She wondered if it was out of cheerful delight or mild shock.  After all, men like him don’t associate with girls like her.

Not that she was of ill character of course.  She, of average height, blonde hair, green eyes, and a beautiful smile, was actually of quite a resonable character.  She was kind, compassionate, generous, but also firey, a passion for the things and people she cared for that was unmatched by those around her.

No, no, her character was not the problem.  What was clear, however was that they came from two very different worlds.  He the learned scholar, son of an Ivy League man.  Her, the product of a middle class upbringing and the respectable but average education that went with it.  Yes, that was it… it must have been a smile of shock.  But he was so very nice to look at.

As if to confirm her conclusion, he spoke to her, and with shock she smiled again.  They discussed the basics of course, where they both were from, what they had studied, how long they had lived in the area.  With each common answer they found themselves connecting.  She saw something interesting in him.  Something different than other men with his background.

They were enjoying their conversation so much, the young man didn’t even notice when his friends left him behind.  The next thing they knew they were having drinks and playing darts at the bar down the street.  She was enjoying his company immensely and the conversation never let up. 

The had been sitting at the bar, just talking for the better part of an hour.  She just couldn’t stop staring at him.  The chemistry was overwhelming.  She’d never seen such fire in a man like him before.  She was itching to know where it came from.

They continued to talk endlessly about everything, business, politics, religion, football.  She relentlessly teased him about his stuffy lifestyle and how he didn’t fit in with the others at all.  it was at one of these moments he shocked her again.

She was going on about how men of his status couldn’t be bothered with romance, or heat and how most men of his ilk couldn’t even kiss properly.  Before she knew what was happening, this tall, sexy stranger took her face in his hand, looked into her eyes and kissed her.

She thought to herself that she must be dreaming.  He was warm, strong, but not aggressive, and all she could see were flames.  Who was this man, kissing her like nothing else in the world mattered in that moment?  Who was this man?

 

***OK It’s late… To Be Continued

I Feel Like Worthless Trash

This guy sent me a text message today asking me if I wanted to go to eat something with him.  I thought, maybe… why not.   I asked him what he had in mind.  His response: “a little to eat, a little sex.”

Wow, Is this really how people see me?  A trashy little piece of ass they can just call up or text for a quicky?  I fee like garbage.  These men make me feel like I am worthless with nothing to offer anyone except a roll in the sack. 

I haven’t  thought so little of myself in a very long time.  My heart is aching.  It’s bad enough I have been feeling so very lonely without my family and friends, but now, I’m beginning to see myself as these men see me.  No better than the local whore.

 

On a less perverse note… but only slightly less perverse.

The Gay Pride Parade is today.  And it’s being held in Jerusalem!  Seriously.  I was shocked, and also wondering how big the protest by the Haradim would be.  I wonder if the parade is anything like it is in the US?  Those guys get wild, and oh so colorful. 

At least there is something for me to smile and/or laugh about today.