This dating thing is hard! It’s made only harder by the fact that I am currently living in my Ex’s family’s house. My life makes me laugh like there’s no tomorrow. I live a Soap Opera, every single day. Even on a slow day things get pretty dramatic. Dating has not been easy on me these last few months.
I have been having trouble recently trying to figure out what I want from my life at this point. Its such a hard situation. On one hand I’ve already done the committed “I gave up my life for you” thing with my Ex. So at this point I want MY life, and I feel I deserve it! Another problem is that I’ve been jerked around for years by my Ex and I don’t want to sit around for another year or three for some new guy to know if he’s sure. It seems rash, but I want kids, like now. It’s hard to tell that to a guy. '”Sorry buddy I know we just met but I need a commitment, a ring, and a few kids from you… Pronto!” It doesn’t exactly work.
I have been looking for a guy that is on the same page as me. A man who wants the same things, but, it’s a tall order. Most men here my age aren’t ready for a steady girlfriend let alone a marriage and kids. And most of the men ready for marriage and kids are in their 30’s and have serious issues, because, well… lets face it… they’re 30 something and still single. I’ve been getting to know a bunch of guys to see who interests me… that is what I’ve seen.
In Israel it usually goes like this… Men 25-27 want a girlfriend but not a marriage. They want a steady sex buddy, but they want to still go out and get drunk and go to the club with their boys. They are usually just starting to look for a career or just getting started working in one. The last thing on their minds are children. Then you have the 28-31 year old men who are usually fairly career focused but have spent the last few years getting nagged by their mothers to settle down and so they are ready to commit. They are looking for a long term relationship with the possibility of marriage and kids but nothing immediate. The upper end of that category are men who have been burned or are emotionally stunted and have had issues committing in the past. After them comes the 32-36 year old guys. They have issues! Most of them anyway. It could be mommy, it could be daddy, it could be the ex girlfriend they caught screwing their best friend in their bed while they were out at the gym. Either way, these guys usually have issues of some kind stopping them from getting married. The last group is the 37-45 year olds. These guys aren’t so bad. They can commit, but that’s usually because you are their second or even third go around. They hardly ever want kids because… well… they already have them. These are usually the guys I avoid because I don’t want to go there until I’m at least 30.
Ok so I’m ranting a little. These are just my observations, and it’s not ALL men, just the average. But this is what it has been like. I feel like I’m at a disadvantage because I’m fairly young by Israeli dating standards, but I’ve already done the marital waiting game. I want to be in a committed marriage and I want to start having children. No Delay! That hurts my prospects a lot here. Plus it’s usually a 50/50 shot as to whether they are willing to deal with my situation with my Ex AND who my mother is. Usually one or the other is a deal breaker. Makes me wish I’d gotten it right the first time. Or wonder why I didn’t say yes the first three times men asked me to marry them. What a difference one decision makes on your life.
This why I say… I’m two steps forward and four years back.
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